The English Alphabet:
by Nispedana
Summary: Oneshot. The ABCs of how Gon is through the years in Killua's perspective. Fem! Gon


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**Disclaimer: **I, unfortunately, do not own Hunter X Hunter.

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**THE ENGLISH ALPHABET  
**(Gon: Ne…what's an 'English'?)

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**A****dorable**

The first time he saw her he thought she was cute. Despite what many people think, growing up in an environment that he had and all, he actually had an affinity to cuteness. That and Gon oozed cuteness that it was practically insane. Her smile, her laugh, and the way she just _looked_ at you were adorable. It made him want to go and jump in front of her and protect her (that _was_ how cute _worked) _from whatever monster came after her, almost forgetting he was one, himself.

…

**B****eautiful**

He didn't know for certain when 'cute' evolved to 'beautiful', but it must've been sometime during the hunter exam, because he remembered when Illumi threatened her life, one of the most enduring thoughts that plagued him was that if he didn't go back… this ugly world would have one less beautiful thing to make it tolerable.

…

**C****olorful**

She was never boring, nor was spending time with her. She had so many sides, but none of them were truly hidden. Every and each one came out whenever they had to, and he enjoyed watching them all surface, and feel every bit inch special for having witnessed them.

Most of the times he was just happy to be beside her, grins pasted on his face whenever when they spend time together. Sometimes he was mad, annoyed, or just anxious because she could be infuriating like that for many reasons that would take too long to enumerate. But always, always, he felt comfortable anyway.

…

**D****ense**

She was also a big, big, idiot when it came to his feelings. She knew he loved her, she could sense the feelings of every living creature around her if she wanted to, but she was too thick-headed to realize he loved her in a different way than she believed. Heck, he thought that even making her bump into something wouldn't show her brain the possibility.

But really, his fear was that she wouldn't understand—because she didn't feel the same way.

…

**E****lectric**

Their first kiss felt like electricity coursing through his veins—and it felt like nothing he ever felt… which was odd since he had been electrocuted countless of times, in wattages that could power _houses_, his whole life. This odd sort of electricity was something he didn't dislike.

In fact, he couldn't get enough of it.

He must be a masochist.

…

**F****aithful**

As stated prior, Gon was a beautiful person. She always had been inside, but when it started showing physically Killua started to develop glares to fend off wolves. Worse part was many of them were charming and strong, and… _not_ ex-assassins. Gon noticed this eventually and she shut all of his worries by one chaste kiss, and asked him if he was happy with her. He said yes and she told him she felt the same. And that she doubted she'd feel like that with anyone else.

…

**G****reen**

She looked good in the color, everyone knew that already. When he asked why she wore it often though she said to him that it was a habit of hers since it was good camouflage when she meandered around her home island. He smiled at that, musing at the fact that whenever he saw green, he remembered _her. _The embarrassing thing was that he said that out loud.

Oh, and she looked cute when the green-eyed monster attacks her on those very rare cases where _she _was the one who got jealous. Even when it showed that even she had her insecurities (which was really just ridiculous, knowing how he felt for her), it also made him feel very very much wanted by the girl he loved.

And yes, he said that out loud too.

…

**H****asty**

One of her major flaws is that she very rarely (or perhaps 'never' is a better term) thinks before she acts. This blasted trait of hers risks her life more times than Leorio looks at himself at the mirror every day—which is really saying something.

There was also the fact that he isn't really that different anymore, not after falling in love with her. He wouldn't need to think before jumping in front of her to take the lethal blow when the time comes. And that also scares him—because he knows Gon will not live with herself if he dies because of her. And _that_ terrifies him to no end.

…

**I****maginary**

Sometimes Killua can't believe someone like her can be real. She makes him feel like he was in heaven, something unthinkable with his track record. She made him feel like he actually has a home, something his mansion never made him feel. She made him feel _alive_, after over a decade of feeling otherwise.

And for a long time they were apart, she with her father, he with Alluka, he almost trusted that. He almost believed that she was a dream because she was, really, too good to be true.

…

**J****ubilant**

That word didn't even _begin_ to describe what it felt like to see her again—after so many, many years. She had grown so much, and she was now a woman. His eyes had never landed on a woman as breath-taking as she was. Ging said he was overreacting, but that didn't matter. To him, Gon was the most beautiful woman the planet could've created, and he was the happiest man alive for being with her again.

…

**K****nowing**

He knew this was a major juxtaposition to her being dense and all but somehow she was managing her 'womanly senses' very well. Back then, before they parted, she had always known the right words to say, when to hold his hand, and when to kiss him… but he cursed this ability for a moment when she didn't seem very surprised (oh, she tried to_ act _like she was_, _not that it helped his case)…when he proposed to her.

…

**L****eader**

She was a born leader, that much was obvious as early as the Hunter Exam. She was leading the wedding preparations well. She knew everyone to send invitations to—even his family. It led to a celebration filled with extremely powerful men and women, and yet the intimidating atmosphere vanished when she entered the isle. She was breath-taking, like she always was, but this time _everyone_ were holding their breaths with him.

All eyes followed her, but her eyes were on his alone all throughout the ceremony. She smiled at him brightly as she said 'I do', and his heart felt like it was bursting—like it always did, and he wondered when he'll get used to that. This was it, the moment he had been waiting for: the end to the ceremony that would mark _the rest of their lives_. But when he opened his mouth—he realized he was speechless.

She held his hand, soothing his nerves, and smiled. And just like that—all his worries dissipated as if they never existed. See? She was leading the wedding, too.

…

**M****otherly**

Killua knew she would make a wonderful mother, even he knew that—despite lacking one, himself. She was kind, she was caring, and she was always surrounded with love and joy. He did not hesitate on telling her that on their wedding night; it was, after all, something she deserved to hear over and over again.

And it was obviously a welcome consequence in what they would be doing that night, anyway.

…

**N****aughty**

He found out that side of her right after that night. He was not complaining, though, he thought in amusement, and he couldn't imagine he ever would.

After all… you know what they say: Girls like bad boys when they're nice only to them, and boys like nice girls who are naughty only with them.

Need he say more? Of course not. The story's rating might go up otherwise.

…

**O****utstanding**

She never fails to impress him. And he muses that he may never find out how the bloody hell she does it. C'mon—how often do you see a five-month pregnant woman calm down a herd of rampaging, dangerous, (and misunderstood) dragons?

…

**P****ristine**

That event must have been the most terrifying experience he had thus far.

Gon was screaming her lungs out. He had never heard her like this—she was never in such excruciating pain before, and every screech of her voice felt like stabs to his chest. Irrational thoughts flooded his head. _He caused this. He CAUSED this._ He was a _monster_—he always had been.

It was then another sort of pain—in the form of guilt? Remorse?—shot through him and it was even more painful than the ones before.

But he was pulled out of that dark place he was entering by high-pitched cries, followed by Bisuke yelling for him to get into the room. He didn't even realize his feet moved until he was inside the room.

The first one he saw was Gon. She was covered with sweat and energy visibly drained, but her smile was so warm all of his dread disappeared. His eyes soon registered something she was holding—the baby—and once again his feet moved on their own to his wife and child.

He couldn't even begin to describe the feeling of seeing his first born—his _son—_closely for the first time, so he dared not to try. All that he knew was that his child was impeccable. And that helped create this beautiful, _perfect,_ being.

He was not such a monster after all.

…

**Q****uerulous **

Killua knows that one simply does _not_ get on one's wife's bad side—particularly when she is full of pregnancy-induced hormones. This is something he knew well after two very emotional births.

Gon is being a little more emotional than usual though. He wondered if it is because he'll, perhaps, finally get a daughter.

…

**R****adiant**

Even after five very energetic children, hundreds of dangerous jobs, and after witnessing humans at their dirtiest—she remained the light to the dark. The beacon of hope to those who had lost it, even when they were strangers. And now, as a part of the Zodiac 12—one of the youngest in history—she had been making use of her light more than before—and he couldn't be any prouder.

…

**S****neaky**

How was he supposed to be _okay_ with his one and only daughter (how Gon would give birth to two more boys he would never understand) going on a freaking blasted bloody hellish _date_? She's only _sixteen_ for goodness' sakes! That was way too young!

And no, he didn't care he dated Gon when they were thirteen. That was a time of war, this was of peace. People got married a lot older when in time of peace.

He was really about to stalk his daughter (yes, she was going despite his pleas, her mother made sure she could go sneak around. Killua swore at how his wife spoils their little girl) when he felt her dainty hands tapping his shoulder. His cerulean eyes met her pretty auburn ones and he knew she was thinking of that better way to spend the night. One that didn't involve stalking offsprings—rather, it involved creating them.

Their children grew up too quickly, after all. _Perhaps it was time to make another one._

Alas, the females in the family always wins, he mused sardonically, and definitely not admitting that grin on his face.

Sneaky females.

…

**T****ransparent**

Gon will forever be cute, as she would be eternally beautiful. Similarly, as those old adjectives still apply, so did many others. He watches as she saunters across the halls after her meeting, sneaking around with Cheadle and a few others, probably asking for advice.

He forces down smiles as she tries desperately to make up excuses when she was, really, going shopping. She is never a good liar—and he doubts she ever will. But still, he smiles and feigns surprise when it comes. She was as dense as always.

She still has no idea he knows about the surprise party she planned for their 25th wedding anniversary.

…

**U****nderstanding**

It was a time wherein his silver hair was lost most of its lustre and became white when his grandfather Zeno died of old age. He mourned. For he was a man he had—still did—admire as a child. She did not say anything to him then, but she never let him go.

It did not take long for his great grandfather Maha to pass on as well. And a few years later, Bisuke followed suit.

During the funeral, he asked her how she could smile while crying her eyes out. She smiled and kissed him as if it were an answer. _Silly Killua,_ she said, sniffing her snot, and yet she retained her smile. _They are not dead, _she said with much resolution, _because we will not forget about them._

And so it was not a surprise when, barely a day after, Gon has already commissioned for a small monument of Bisuke, and many other great hunters, and created a large hall in the Hunter Association building to remember them.

Their first grandchild also became the old hag's namesake, and they loved her even more.

…

**V****irtuous **

When their second born was dying—_much too young_—due to some careless mistake by poison from a some creature from the Dark Continent, Gon was given a choice. She was given the option of saving his life—but for the price of a dozen others.

Quietly, but with all her heart, she kissed their son's forehead, and apologized. Their son smiled warmly, apologizing instead for causing so much pain, before sending them the brightest beam he could manage. He said he was proud to be their son.

As the younger Zoldyck held on to his final breath, Killua stared at his wife. She would not let the decision haunt her, he knew, they understood that their son would not want that sort of fate for them. But regardless, a part of her died then, and he couldn't blame her.

Their eldest took her place in the Zoldiac Twelve afterwards.

…

**W****arm**

His whole clan rested on their home the night of the funeral, all sleeping in their large living area, all sleeping on the floor—an especially cold winter that was.

And yet…, he mused, as he closed his eyes and listened to his wife's affectionate voice as she told tales of their adventures, of their many, many friends and loved ones, and that of the one they lost, he knew that never would they freeze.

The home they had much too warm for that.

…

**X****en-**

She had been a foreign concept to him. Kind, gentle, and yet so strong; Selfless and smart, but also helplessly idiotic. She was a living paradox. But beyond that she introduced to him so many alien things. Their first moments together she offered to be his friend, and that was something that was never given to him before by someone outside his blood kin. And at the time, he had no memory of Alluka, his most precious sibling, so the experience had been surreal. In retrospect, it still was.

But then the next thing he knew she unknowingly offered him love, and she awakened foreign feelings and desires inside of him. It was the first time he had the urge to make someone else happy (he wasn't even sure what that felt like before meeting _her_), the first time he wanted to protect someone's life, in contrast to taking it, and the first time he wanted so badly to touch another human being, when all he had done before with his hands were to use them to take lives.

She had given him things so much more than what his twisted head could have imagined.

He smiled and stared at the park they built on their mansion's backyards, their youngest kin running around and living normal, happy, lives. She soon appeared beside him, gently taking his hand so they could watch their loved ones together.

He chuckled for some reason (he never really had to have one, not anymore) and raised her hand and let it meet his lips lovingly. "Thank you." He said and she titled her head in puzzlement.

She gave him more than friendship—she gave him a_ family_.

And he would be eternally grateful for that.

…

**Y****outhful**

Most of their old friends had already passed, and now they were the only ones to recall all those memories—be they of joy or anxieties—of their time together: their time during the Hunter Exam, the grand Zoldyck rescue, or of their other adventures that went beyond stories and history books.

He reads to her every day, often times they just recall old memories, and every time her face brightens. Indeed, even over a century of living she is still as radiant as ever, that even when she is bedridden—she is still emanating with light.

They hold hands, smiling, albeit his is so, _so_, much more forced. She says she wonders what the next life would be like. He opens his mouth at that, but closes them again. He does not argue.

Before he met her he never would have even considered the existence of heaven, nor in reincarnations… but that has changed, and now he refuses to believe otherwise because someone like her _has_ to go in heaven afterwards. She has been nothing but an angel.

…

**Z****oetic**

He reads a book full of their adventures, thankful that he can still read, to his little great-grandchildren, although many of them are already past their teenage years, with much pride and joy.

Their grandmother is life personified, he states. Her existence will never be forgotten.

And their grandmother gave them life in so many ways than one, he whispers, as if it is a secret inside the family. It is her greatest gift to him, and thanks to her, to all of them, he has been blessed enough to use it to the fullest.

He watches them all as they went to sleep later that night, one by one, and kisses them all goodnight—even his children whose hair are already as white as his. He trudges to his bedroom afterwards, and lying on the bed he used to share with his beloved.

And as he closed his eyes, he does not shed a tear—and not because he no longer has the energy to cry. It is because he has no regrets, his life has been spent too well to even dare. He smiles as a warm breeze passed through his room, and whispers to it lovingly.

He says he can't wait to see her again.

.

**.**

_**FIN**_

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**I hope you enjoyed it!**

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